“Where you going with that shotgun?”

“Goin’ talk some sense into them ateroid miners. That where I be going.”

“Harold, think sensible. What happened?”

“Look yonder there, Maud, through your kitchen winder. See that tomater patch.”

“Oh, Harold, I’m so sorry.”

“Ain’t your fault. That chunk of ateroid done smashed them tomater plants flat as fly paper. I’m headin’ to that rock refinery to have it out, me and Billy Bob.

“William, Harold. Your friend’s given name is William, not Billy Bob. And it’s asteroid, not ateroid.”

“Looks like a big rock to me, whatsoever you calls it. Remember the one that got the chicken coop. Eggs and all. Gone. Weren’t a pretty sight. They owe me.

“And, they’ll pay, Harold. They did for the coop, poor chickens, and they’ll drop a check by the house, for your plants. You know they always do. I’ll call.”

“But why and what for, Maud?  I don’t care about the money. I’m tired of the falling rocks.”

“Harold, didn’t you read that National Geographic article I put by your chair, next to the Dr. Pepper.”

“I read the pictures. Billy Ba, I mean William, he says a picture be worth a thousand of them words. Read that, he did, and stopped. Learned enough, he said. He’s got a bunch of huntin’ and fishin’ magazines, full of pictures. Ed-u-cated man, that William.”

“Where do you boys get these ideas?”

“Guys, Maud. We’re guys, not boys.”

“Boys in your Club House. That’s what you are.”

“Ice House, Maud. It’s an Ice House, not a Club House. That’s where us guys go to figure things out.”

“Which is why I left you the article, Harold. This asteroid mining is important. A big asteroid is worth over 150 times more money than an Earth rock. That asteroid has over 50 times the gold, almost 80 times the palladium, nearly 300 times the platinum, and close onto 800 times the iridium than those rocks your tractor turns over.”

“What I need all them idimum’s for, anyways?”

“Electric wiring, Harold. Computer connections, cell phones, your pickup.”

“I like my truck. Don’t you go bad mouthing that machine. It’s done us good.”

“It is a good truck, Harold. But that pickup and the parts to keep it running need those metals. That’s why those miners are out there in the asteroid belt.”

“William says that what with flinging all them asteroids down here and smashin’ up the country side, there won’t be none left to hold up that asteroid belt. Them pants goin’ fall right down and the whole seller system be made a fool of. We had a right good laugh at the seller system without its pants on.”

“It’s a solar system, Harold, not a seller system.”

“Well, that’s what they do with them rocks. They sell ‘em.”

“Yes, they do, but the asteroid belt is rocks circling the Sun. It’s not a belt. William must have rocks in his head to take up a notion like that.”

“No notion at all, Maud. William says we be upsetting the e-vironment with all this mining.”

“Land of Goshen, Harold, now you’ve gone and joined up with a passel of Green Activists down at the Ice House.”

“You got it, Maud, Ice House, not Club House. And, they call me Bubba down there.”

“Will wonders never cease?”

“Maud?”

“Yes, Harold.”

“I bought you this.”

“Harold, it’s a big heart.”

“And, it’s full of candy. Look inside. And, they threw in this card for free. Here, take it. Open the flap. I didn’t lick it. See there, where I wrote Love, in big letters. I signed right under. It was a special, at the Ice House, the candy and the card. I thought of you as soon as I saw them. Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“Oh, Harold. Happy Valentine’s Day to you. I love you too.”

“Oh, Maud.”

“Now, come on over here so I can give you a big hug and kiss.”

“Oh, Maud.”

“Harold, there’s time before supper for you to take the pickup and go on down to that Ice House. You can have a moon pie with your Pepper for a snack. Figure things out with the guys. Then, come home to me.”

“Thanks, Maud.”

“Don’t be late. I’m making something special for us tonight, Bubba.”

 

Have a very Happy Valentine’s Day; and remember, there are still cards and candy down at the Ice House. They may be half off the day after. Visit with the guys and pick up something special for that special person back home.

Have a Pepper and don’t forget to say Hello to Bubba, for me,

Grandpa Jim