The Might Mites of Dust

The house dust mite is “a cosmopolitan guest in human habitation.” “Cosmopolitan” means it can be found everywhere that human beings habitat (live or abide) — around the world and then some, probably even on the orbiting space station. “Guest” does not mean the mite was invited – it means it lives with us (we share the same space and both are guests in our own homes). It might more properly be termed an “unwanted guest,” one that does not easily leave. As one, it is a small little critter, only 0.4 millimeters (0.016 inches) in length, and it can be just barely seen on the bed sheets . . . in normal light. It loves mattresses and pillows, because they are so cushy and warm and comforting, and because those mattresses and pillows are full of the little dusts we leave behind and dust mites love to eat. Once it settles in, it’s not leaving – unless you heat that pillow to 60 degrees C (140 degrees F) or freeze that mattress to 0 degrees C (32 degrees F). It is reported that a two-year old pillow may be composed of up to ten percent dust mites and their dust – although some dust-mite scientists dispute that all those little mighty mites really add significantly to the weight of mattresses and pillows. It is true that alone a mite might not be too much, but banded together, it might truly be said, in a loud and echoing voice, that they are the “Mighty Mites of Dust.”

Monkeys and Chimpanzees in Go-Go Land

Both monkeys and chimpanzees are primates and simians. From a taxonomic viewpoint, human beings are also classified as primates and simians. Monkeys usually have tails. Chimps and humans do not – at least that is noticeable. The chimpanzee is an ape; the monkey is not. There are more apes than just chimpanzees. Gibbons, orangutans and gorillas are also apes.  Humans are not apes, although some human males have been reported to act like apes. In the phylogeny of living (extant) primates, chimpanzees and the other apes are more closely related to humans (at least male humans) than monkeys. This should not come as a surprise to some.  Monkeys, chimpanzees and humans can all climb trees. Monkeys and chimpanzees do it well. Humans do not. Monkeys, chimpanzees and humans can be trained to drive go-carts. It is apparently a matter of opinion who does this better. Monkeys and chimpanzees do not generally use computer software programs. When malfunctioning, software programs cause humans (males at least) to jump up and down, grab and shake things, beat their chests, and utter loud screeches and other unintelligible and incoherent sounds. When this occurs, it has been suggested (by whom we cannot say) that monkeys and chimpanzees in go-go land behave better than humans in software gone-gone land.

To Affect an Effect or Effect an Effect — That is the Question

The sun affects (has an impact on) my skin. The effect of (that which results from) too much sun on my skin is a sunburn. The sun effected (brought about) a change in my skin that hurts. Ouch! Now, you see why using affect, effect and effect can be so painful. Affect is typically used as a verb, meaning to have an impact on something or someone, to influence. Effect is mostly used as a noun to represent that which is created by some cause, the result or consequence. For every cause, there is an effect. But, effect can also be used as a verb, meaning to bring about, to cause or achieve – this is a bit tricky when compared to the verb affect. Let’s see how it works. The software going bad affects a human male. This cause (software going bad) has the effect of said human male acting like a monkey or chimpanzee in go-go land (or worse). We can then say the bad software effected the change (and not a desirable one) in our human male. And, that is how affect (verb), effect (noun) and effect (verb) can work on someone who becomes too attached to their computer. Now, why don’t you try it on a dust mite making a home in your favorite pillow.

Effect a calm demeanor, you may affect others with the effects of your actions.

Now then, that’s clear as mud, I think.

Cheers,

Grandpa Jim