The 7th story in the opening series of Uncle Joe stories is posted on the Home page.

Please join Uncle Joe and his older brother Charles on their discovery of a very unusual object. Follow their efforts to unravel the surrounding mystery. Stand with Uncle Joe on that high cliff as he sees the secret of Chalk Bluff that has been hidden for so long. With the two brothers, face the question what to do with the new-found knowledge.

“Uncle Joe and the Secret of Chalk Bluff” is a story that began with Uncle Joe a long time ago, before he understood the lesson that his Mom taught him in the kitchen and before he revisited the site of his boyhood adventure for a second glance at how things might not have appeared at first.

I hope you find this story entertaining, revealing and as surprising as the quiet waters of the two rivers that have watched it slowly unfold.

For every choice, there is a consequence; and in every consequence, there is a story.

May you ponder both and enjoy this one,

Grandpa Jim

Good Morning, Hello and Thank You All for Continuing to Stop By,

On Friday, if everything goes smoothly, the 7th Uncle Joe Story in this Opening Series will publish for your reading fun and enjoyment.

“Uncle Joe and the Secret of Chalk Bluff” is a mystery that propels Uncle Joe and Charles into an old and secret realm that has excited the imagination and pursuit of others far into the past.

Be ready on Friday morning to follow the trail so few have found and none before have fully understood.

Where will it lead?

Grandpa Jim

Let’s talk ducks.

In the winterlands of the Northern Hemisphere during the Holiday seasons, ducks are always a pleasant subject of conversation. Looking up, the high-flying V’s can be seen crossing the skies to migrate south or just move around the neighborhood. Honking and whistling, those ducks are heard from far off, then here, over there and everywhere. Hiding and seeking in their playful manner, the extended necks of low-flying pairs zoom by searching to glean leftovers from the farmers’ harvested fields. They are birds you don’t always see, but ducks you see and enjoy this time of year.

Biologically speaking, ducks, geese and swans are part of Anatidae family of birds. These are all birds that swim and float on the surface of water. Some even take a dive and feed under the water. These swimming bird are a very old group. Their earliest ancestors are thought to have lived at the time of the dinosaurs.

Whistling ducks are not true ducks. They are considered a separate tribe in the goose sub-family. Certainly, they are Anatidae water birds, but more goosey than ducky. Bigger than most ducks but smaller than most geese, they are their own ducks. Eight separate groups of whistling ducks are spread across the warmer climates of the world, the tropics and subtropics. They are in every continent except Antarctica — sorry, too cold down there. And, they all make a lot of noise with their clear, whistling waa-chooo calls.

My favorite local Waa-choooer is the Black-bellied Whistling Duck. This bird likes Texas and lives year-round near the warmer coastal waters of the state, at times wandering inland and upland along the rivers and streams. It is a gregarious bird, which means it likes company and socializing. The Black Belly is always ready to whistle up a party with family and friends.

An attractive bird, the Black-bellied Whistling Duck sports rich chestnut body plumage, a black belly (of course) and black tail, long pink legs, unique white wing bars, a long red bill and distinctive white eye-rings. This whistler is an eye-turner of a duck, but it’s not stuck-up. On the contrary, it’s really quite an easy-going bird, who prefers long-term relationships. They are unique among the ducks for choosing one partner and staying together for life.

“It takes a village” to raise those young Black-bellied Whistlers, so the parents work together, even in nesting and incubating the eggs of their future kids. One birder observed 99 eggs in a single nest, being tended by a number of paired adults. It appears that “It takes a flock” for these ducks, and the numbers show it’s working well. Populations have increased over the last 30 years, and the global population of Black-bellied Whistling Ducks is estimated at some 1,550,000 happy-to-meet-you-let’s-have-a-party birds.

Keep your eyes pealed for those high-flying V’s and, who knows, you may get lucky and get whistled at by a duck troop of Black Bellies on a floating frolic in the winter sun.

Join in the game, pucker your lips and whistle right back at those fun-loving birds,

Grandpa Jim

PS: Since the Black-bellied Whistling Duck is of a goose-like clan, it is appropriate that ducks and geese unite and raise their whistles and honks in support of “The Goose and the Gander,” who have their very own story of water birds and their ground-bound friends. The story is under “Mary and Other Stories.” Good reading and storytelling.

For your reading enjoyment, “The Goose and the Gander” is now published on the Home page.

Discover what happens to two geese, two young boys and their two dogs. Listen to Grandpa and Grandma and the Granddaughters as they try to understand what was that all about, what will happen next and what is Grandma doing in the kitchen?

As we, in the U.S., prepare to celebrate our annual Feast of Thanksgiving, let us reflect on the many reasons we have to be thankful.

A thought directed well and answered by those around is a wonder to behold and a gift to all.

May the season excite your imaginations,

Grandpa Jim

Tumbling Twirled Tuesday, Wondering Where Wednesday Waned, Thursday Tidy Trembles, For Friday’s Faint Refrain,

Here follows a “Sonnet To A New Story,” itself in iambic pentameter, mixed at times, of fourteen lines, a-b-b-a, a-b-b-a, c-d-e, c-d-e, in rhyme, for you to hear what story will be posted here this Friday morning next. It is a puzzle to ponder and measure what be the metes and bounds in its text and state?

SONNET TO A NEW STORY

Wonder Longer And Wait, Friday Day Beat,

Not Now Or Long, To See What Is In Store.

One New Be Sure, Not Seen Or Writ Before,

To Precede Your Holiday Feast And Greet.

For You, Two New Pairs Fly And Bark Too Fleet.

That You May Wonder Certain Unsure More.

What Did Happen There, In That Snow By Shore?

Were I To Know And Tell, I Would Unseat,

The Sadness Long That Troubled One Lad’s Walk,

To Cause Another There To Rush And Reach,

To Try To Help But Fall And Break Beneath.

Were That Be There The End, To End The Talk?

Further, I Can Not Now Pretend At Speech.

You Must Wait Here, To See If There Be Grief.

That is the sonnet and on Friday morning this morrow’s morrow, perhaps the mystery there will be solved by thee, if you be here to see and read.

Have a fantastic day,

Grandpa Jim

She slapped him hard.

“Why did you do that?” he asked.

“I heard what you called me. That ‘pulky’ name.”

“It means ‘beautiful,’” he said, rubbing his hurt cheek.

“Oh, sorry. Why didn’t you say so? Here, let me kiss the ouchie.”

“Pulchritude” is a noun. Its on-line definition in Webster is “physical comeliness.”

“Pulchritudinous” is the adjective form. When used to modify a noun, or a person in our unfortunate gentleman’s case, it means “possessed of physical comeliness.”

All a bit archaic, you would say, and you would be right on. The word derives from the Middle English “pulchritudo,” which derives from the Latin “pulcher,” which mean simply “beautiful” or “good looking.” “Why didn’t you say so?” Exactly, you wouldn’t, or shouldn’t, tell a girl she is pretty by using that word today.

In the 21^st Century, which is our day, people wouldn’t say “You are possessed of physical comeliness,” with a wink, anymore than they would say “You are looking pulchritudinous.” It would all be Greek to your audience and probably get you slapped again. We must speak to each other in the custom of our day.

“Consuetude” is another word you’d better watch dropping in polite company, but it’s right on point to our discussion. “Consuetude” means simply “custom,” which means something – in our case a word – in common usage. Common usage. As a word, “consuetude” was the custom of the times and in common usage in the 14^th Century. It is not today, 700 years later. “If you tell someone, “I don’t know what to do, what’s the consuetude,” you will likely get a blank stare, or worse.

So, let’s start over.

“Pulchritudinous” was the 15^th Century, “consuetude” was the 14^th Century, and this is the 21^st Century. Today it is not the consuetude (custom) to tell your host for dinner that she is pulchritudinous (possessed of physical comeliness). It is the custom to tell your host that her dress is gorgeous and you really like those large pomegranate earrings with the little circling electric flashing fruit flies – never assume you know anything about the consuetudes of female dress or accoutrement, just compliment, smile and move on. That is the custom today. And, whatever you do, do not, and I repeat, do not tell the lady of the house that she is pulchritudinous.

Save the circumlocution for the pre-matriculatory examinations.

There, I’m glad I said that, but my jaw still hurts

Grandpa Jim

Birds migrate.

The word “migrate” derives from the Latin “migrare,” which means to move from place to place. That’s what birds do. They “pass periodically from one region or climate to another.” That’s the definition of “migrate.”

Snow geese migrate.

The big white birds summer way up there, north of the timberline in Alaska and Canada. When they feel the cold winds starting to blow off the North Pole, they pack up the flock and head south.

Migrating down the Central Flyway and crossing the Great Plains, the “V’s” of birds take a break and grab a bite to eat from the grain left behind in the fields. Lifting to the sky again, those “V’s” float south to the warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico and the Caribbean. Arriving, they sette on a sunny beach and order one of those fancy drinks with the little umbrellas. The drinks, of course, are nonalcoholic. Geese are always driving. There are no “designated” flyers. Everyone drives . . . but there is a secret.

I will tell you a great avian secret. The birds don’t do all the flying. It’s too far to fly, even with their big wings and those fast-food grain stops across the prairies of Canada and the U.S. They catch a ride. You know, like they have at the big airports. You’ve stepped onto those moving walkways and been whisked away without effort to your gate.

In the sky, way up there, where you see those “V’s” of geese, those birds are resting on invisible moving walkways, just like in the airports. Those are the skyways. The birds know this, because it is a bird secret.

When a group of struggling geese finds a skyway, they settle on it in a “V” shape.

One of the reasons for the “V” shape is that it allows every bird an unobstructed view of where they’re going. Yes, they do move their wings, but just a bit to look like they’re flying, so people think “It’s just a bunch of birds.” The “V” shape is bird talk saying, “Honk, honk, we found it, this is the skyway to the south, hop on, there’s room, the umbrella drinks are waiting, honk, honk.” Bird language is much more efficient than human language. “V” says all that in bird talk. The “V” also points the direction for the others to follow: “Go south, young bird. Go south!”. You’ve noticed that the “V’s” always point to the south, except, of course, when the flock is entering or exiting the lanes.

Way down south, where the warm winds blow and the fancy drinks are waiting, that’s where all those snow geese are heading.

It’s not just geese.

I have a brother and his wife and a sister-in-law who migrate. It’s the strangest of things. About this time of year, when the leaves turn colors and float to the ground, those relatives start to list somewhat to the southward. There must be some small genetic gyroscopes that they have that we don’t, because they start to walk sort of sideways, leaning in a southerly direction.

There are other people signs.

Colleen, my sister-in-law, is an artist, and she finds herself painting little palm trees everywhere, on the kitchen cabinets, the bathroom floor, even with the squeeze mustard on the edges of the plate around the sandwich she’s eating. In mid-bite, she’ll jump up, grab a bag, run to the car and take off.

My brother, Kevin, and his wife, Sharon, are bikers. One day they just start riding south, and they can’t stop. Finally, they pause for a drink from their water bottles, flip a coin and that one goes back, gets the SUV and hurries back to pick up the other. They quickly mount their bikes on the tailgate bike-rack and take off, stopping for food and clothes along the way.

Food is important because my migratory relatives don’t form “V’s,” they don’t like leftover grain, and it is a long way without the use of an invisible moving walkway. Kevin and Sharon favor vegetarian and barbecue pizzas with sides of steamed broccoli. Colleen is a fan of Cincinnati chili, which is near her daughter Aubry’s house on the way south.

Sustained by regional cuisines and an occasional relative’s rest stop, our wandering relations push relentlessly south.

I just got the email that Colleen has made it!

Kevin and Sharon must still be flying south.

People do migrate. I have the relatives to prove it.

Are you listing slightly to the south of center. Do you feel a tugging gyroscopic urge you can’t define?

If so, consider migrating this winter season. The reports I have are that it is great fun.

To sustain yourself, stop for pizzas and sides of broccoli. Consider packing the spaghetti and a few cans of chili for the toppings.

Find that “V” in the sky, follow it and watch for those little umbrella drinks near the beach.

You may have arrived. Settle back and enjoy the sun.

It’s not just for geese, you know,

Grandpa Jim

Not easily, I’m afraid. At the federal level, the overall process appears to be quite simple. In application, however, the road for a bill to become a law is involved, complicated and long. It’s pretty much the same in each state, but in this post we will focus on federal bills.

A “bill” is a piece of proposed legislation. The word is English in origin and probably derives from terms meaning a piece of paper to get someone’s attention and require some action, like “You owe me money or something, so get paying or doing.” That’s what a bill is all about, getting something done by getting someone to do something.

Back to the process itself, a Congressman, either a Representative or Senator, writes a bill (let’s say the “No Hunting Wolves” bill) and drops the “Wolf” bill into the “New Bill” slot. Next, both Houses of Congress (the House of Representative with 435 members and the Senate with 100 members) pass the Wolf bill by a majority vote. The passed bill is sent to the White House, where the President signs it and “No Hunting Wolves” becomes law. All the wolves jump up and down, yip and howl, and are happy and content. That’s the short and fast version. It never happens that easily or that fast. Sorry, wolves.

Both Houses of Congress have many sub-committee, committees and internal procedures.

Let’s start in the House with our example. (I am making up the sub-committee and committee names.) The Wolf bill goes to the House Endangered Species Sub-Committee, who holds hearings, makes changes and sends the bill to the House Environment Committee. The Environment Committee holds hearings, makes changes and sends the Wolf bill to the full House or back to the Sub-Committee. The full House has its own Committee of the Whole which conducts reviews, makes changes, sends the bill back to the Committee or transfers the bill to the floor of the House for a vote. If the bill passes by a majority, the House version of the Wolf bill is published on blue paper and sent to the Senate.

In the Senate, the sub-committee, committee and floor process occurs again. To keep things going, let’s us say the Wolf bill is approved by a majority of the Senators. Hooray!  Wait, don’t celebrate just yet. The Senate made some changes. Changes are always made when a bill passed by one House goes to the other. This means that the modified bill has to go to a Conference Committee of both Houses to work out the differences. If the Conference Committee can agree on changed language, the reconciled bill is sent back to both Houses. If both Houses pass the modified bill by a majority of the members of each, the Wolf bill goes to the President. That’s a lot of “If’s” already, but let’s keep that bill going.

The President has 10 days to sign or veto the bill. If the President signs the bill, it becomes law. If the President does nothing, the bill becomes law without his signature after 10 days. If Congress adjourns during the 10-day period without the President doing anything, the bill is dead – this is called a “pocket veto,” because the bill dies after the President figuratively puts the bill into his pocket, does nothing and the Congress adjourns. If the President vetoes the bill within the 10-day period, the vetoed bill is sent back to both Houses of Congress. To override the President’s veto, each House must again pass the bill, but this time by a two-thirds majority. If the override passes in both Houses, the bill becomes law. If either override vote fails or is never taken, the bill dies.

At this point, the wolves are spinning and running for the hills. I’m afraid there’s little chance of that “No Hunting Wolves” bill to move quickly through the Congress.

It takes a long time for a bill to become a law. This is why we see all the post-election articles about the challenges of a divided Congress. If no party has a clear or overpowering majority, it becomes even more difficult to pass a bill into law. It can take even more time.

Whew, that was tiring. You can imagine how your Representative and Senator feel trying to work through the process. It might be wondered whether our Founding Fathers intended the federal government to pass many laws. It is something of a wonder that any laws do pass, but they do.

The current U.S. Congress, the 112^th, is coming to the end of its two-year term (2011-2012). The 112^th Congress has had before it around 12,000 bills and resolutions. When everything is tallied, it is projected that 5% of the filings will have passed. If that projection holds true, some 600 bills and resolutions will have labored through the process and become law.

600 enactments for 535 members of Congress (435 Representative and 100 Senators). That comes out to about one (1) apiece for two years of work.

I wonder what those Founding Fathers are thinking.

What are you thinking? Too many or too few?

I know what those wolves are doing.

Grandpa Jim